Knock, Knock
by Giggles
Summary: This story stars Matt, Jeff, Edge, Christian, The Rock, Kurt Angle, Kane and others in a fun story set in E&C's hotel room. It's a bit weird, but hey, I wrote it during classes. Teachers always interuppt you! PG-13 for swearing. Please R/R


Jeff- *playing with Barbies* Ken, I want to go for a ride! Alright, Barbie, Let's take the bright pink Jeep!  
  
Matt- *shakes his head* I'm not related to him.  
  
Lita- Are you sure?  
  
M- *glares at Lita, then at Jeff*  
  
J- Oh, Ken, don't drive so fast! I'm scared! Don't worry, Barbie, I'll keep you safe.  
  
L- *giggles*  
  
J- Lita, come play with me!  
  
L- Okay! *skips over to play with Jeff*  
  
M- Lita! Don't encourage him!  
  
J- *sticks his tongue out* It's not my fault that she likes me more than you, Matty!  
  
M- *storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him*  
  
Christian- Whoa! Watch out!  
  
M- Sorry, Christian.  
  
C- Wow, you look kinda pissed.  
  
M- Lita just abandoned me to play Barbies with Jeff.  
  
C- You can't be serious.  
  
M- I'm serious.  
  
C- *is doubled over in laughter*  
  
M- Grrrrrrr……….  
  
C- Sorry, Matt, but it's just kinda funny to imagine Lita playing Barbies. Jeff….well……  
  
M- Yeah…  
  
C- Well, I'm gonna go hang out with Edge. You wanna come with?  
  
M- I'll do anything if it gets me away from Jeff and his Barbies!  
  
*There is a high-pitched scream from inside the room. Matt and Christian look at each other and walk quickly away.*  
  
J- Barbie's dead. Silly Ken. He drove too fast and killed her.  
  
L- Now what?  
  
J- I was getting bored with them anyways. Wanna paint my nails for me?  
  
L- Sure!  
  
J- Yay!  
  
Edge- Hey, man!  
  
M- Hey.  
  
E- What's goin' on wit you?  
  
C- Jeff and Lita are playing Barbies.  
  
E- *slight pause* Dude, that is SO Jeff. But Lita?  
  
M- *shakes head* I think she's lost her mind.  
  
C- I'm surprised that you haven't lost yours with all the time you spend with Jeff.  
  
M- Me, too.  
  
*There is a knock at the door. Edge opens it.*  
  
E- Hello?  
  
*Kurt Angle runs in.*  
  
Kurt- Help! Stone Cold is chasing me! He wants me to drink beer!  
  
C- So?  
  
K- So? So? SO? You want me to ruin myself by drinking beer? I don't think so! I drink milk!  
  
C- It wouldn't hurt you to take a sip of beer.  
  
K- Yes it would! It would.  
  
M- Kurt, get a life.  
  
K- I have a life, you little country bumpkin. Oh, it's true!  
  
C- Kurt, you totally reek of weirdness.  
  
K- *glares at Christian*  
  
*There is another knock at the door. Kurt looks scared. Christian answers the door*  
  
Stone Cold- Where the hell is he?  
  
C- Where's who?  
  
S- What?  
  
C- *glares*  
  
S- Where is the son-bitch?  
  
C- Kurt?  
  
S- Who else would I be talkin' 'bout? Gimme him!  
  
C- *pauses* No. Why should I?  
  
S&UnseenCrowd- Cuz Stone Cold says so!  
  
C- *to the crowd* Where did you guys come from?  
  
UC- Actually, we were just leaving.  
  
C- Good. *to Stone Cold* I don't care what you say. *slams door in his face*  
  
*They hear him lumbering away, swearing at them*  
  
K- Thanks, Christian!  
  
C- No problem!  
  
*Another knock at the door*  
  
E- *looking a bit annoyed* What do you want?  
  
Rock- Have you seen the Rock's fuzzy pink bunny slippers?  
  
E- *stares blankly at the Rock for a second* Have I seen the Rock's what?  
  
R- The Rock's fuzzy pink bunny slippers. They look like this. *Holds up a picture*  
  
E- A. I think you have some major issues and B. No, I haven't seen your slippers. *slams door in the Rock's face* I hope that that was the last visitor.  
  
K- *looking around him* Say, do you have any milk?  
  
E&C- No, Kurt.  
  
K- Are you sure?  
  
E&C- Yes, Kurt.  
  
K- But I want milk. Are you positive?  
  
E&C- Positive, Kurt.  
  
K- Oh. Darn it. *goes to sit in the corner. All others stare at him*  
  
M- You okay, Kurt?  
  
K- Milk…must have milk…  
  
M- *blinks and slowly backs away, realizing that he is wearing a cow-print jacket*  
  
C- Whoa…  
  
*There is another knock at the door. Edge looks pissed*  
  
M- I'll get it. *Opens the door* Hello?  
  
Trish- Did I leave my bra in here last night? I can't seem to- *stops* Whoops, wrong room! *rushes away*  
  
M- *closes the door* Slut!  
  
C- Who was it?  
  
M- That slut, Trish.  
  
E- *makes a yucky face* Eww!  
  
*Everyone laughs*  
  
C- Yup.  
  
*Someone else knocks on the door. Matt answers it again.*  
  
J- Matty! Save me! *leaps into Matt's arms, crying*  
  
M- *looks confused. Hears laughing and look out the door into the hallway to see Lita, holding a big furry mask*  
  
L- *giggles* Jeff, why'd you run away from me?  
  
J- *screams and buries his head into Matt's neck*  
  
M- Damnit, Lita, how many times do I have to tell you not to scare Jeff?  
  
L- *giggles*  
  
M- *slams the door in Lita's face* Aw, my poor Jeffy. *rubs Jeff's back*  
  
J- Oh! Matty! Looky! Lita painted my nails sparkly!  
  
M- That's wonderful Jeff.  
  
J- They're pretty.  
  
M- Yes, they are. Can you get out of my arms now?  
  
J- *tightens his grip* No! I'm still scared!  
  
K- Milk……  
  
J- What's wrong with him?  
  
C- He's going through milk withdrawal.  
  
J- *slowly* Oh….. *looks confused* Why?  
  
E- Jeff, you totally reek of stupidity.  
  
J- Hey! That's……Matty, what does that mean?  
  
M- Jeffy, I think you need to stop hitting your head so much.  
  
J- Oh. Okay.  
  
K- Must have milk. *is rocking back and forth*  
  
J- Matty, he's scaring me.  
  
M- Me, too.  
  
E- Me, three.  
  
C- Maybe we should go get him some milk.  
  
K- Milk? Did somebody say milk?  
  
C- No, Kurt.  
  
K- Oh, darn it….*bursts into tears*  
  
E- *looks scared* Good idea…I'll go get it! *bolts out of the room*  
  
C- Bitch.  
  
*Knock on door*  
  
C- *opens the door and glares*  
  
Vince- *holding up a large, lacy black bra* Have you seen Trish?  
  
C- Uh…Vince…It's just a thought, but I don't think that you should be walking around with that…  
  
V- I've got to give it back to Trish! She left it in my room last night.  
  
C- Um, she went that way. *points down the hall*  
  
V- Thanks, Christian! *rushes off down the hall*  
  
C- *blinks* Alrighty. *shuts the door*  
  
M- Who was that?  
  
C- Vince……he had the slut's bra…  
  
M&J- *blink*  
  
K- *still rocking back and forth*  
  
*Beating on the door* Help me! Let me in! Hurry!  
  
J- *rushes out of Matt's arms to open the door, opens it, screams, and slams it shut again.*  
  
M- Jeff! *runs to the door and opens it. A frantic Kane rushes in*  
  
Ka- He's after me! Help me! Hide me!  
  
C- What's wrong? Who's after you?  
  
Ka- The Rock is!  
  
M- Why?  
  
Ka- I accidentally stepped on his fuzzy pink bunny slippers. I mean, it's not my fault he left them on the floor in the lobby!  
  
*Voice in the hall- Kane! Bring your candy ass out here! I'ma lay the Smackdown on you and your bunny killing feet!*  
  
Ka- *runs into the bathroom and they hear the door lock*  
  
J- *laughs*  
  
M- Shh……  
  
*pounding on the door*  
  
M- *opens the door* Yes?  
  
R- *looks around. Damnit, he's not here! *stalks off*  
  
M- *shuts the door*  
  
J- Ohh…The big, bad Rock is after Kane……scary, scary!  
  
K- Must…have…milk…Must…have…milk…  
  
Ka- *comes out of the bathroom* Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go hide in Taker's room now. *leaves*  
  
J- The big, bad Rock is gonna get you, Kane! Scary, Scary!  
  
*Voice in the hall- Dude! This totally reeks of awesomeness!*  
  
C- That sounded like Edge. Let's go see what's he's talking about!  
  
*They all go out into the hall (except Kurt) and see Val Venus stumbling around with an arrow through his chest*  
  
E- Doesn't this reek of awesomeness?  
  
C- Dude!  
  
M- Whoa…  
  
J- *giggles* He's gonna die, just like Barbie did!  
  
E- I've got Kurt's milk. Let's go give it to him!  
  
C- Alright, good idea!  
  
*They go into the room, ignoring Val's cries for help*  
  
E- Kurt, I've got something for you!  
  
K- *looks up hopefully* Milk?  
  
E- *nods* Yuppy!  
  
K- MILK!!!!!!!! *jumps up and grabs the milk, then drinks it as fast as he can*  
  
E- *grins*  
  
K- *leaps into Edge's arms and starts kissing his face all over* Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I love you so much! Milk! Yay!  
  
E- *looks scared* Um…Yeah! *pushes Kurt down*  
  
K- *singing* Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! *dances around the room*  
  
*Knock on door*  
  
K- *opens the door* Hello? *looks down, confused*  
  
Iguana- Hi!  
  
K- What the…?  
  
*The little green iguana walks in*  
  
I- What's up, guys?  
  
E- *screams like a girl and leaps into Matt's arms* Mommy, protect me!  
  
M- I'm not your mommy!  
  
E- *starts crying*  
  
C- Edge, what's wrong?  
  
E- *sniffles and refuses to move from Matt's arms* He was chasing me earlier. He's mean and scary!  
  
I- *evil little smile* You were so much fun to chase. I think tha- OW! FUCK! What the…?  
  
*Everyone looks up to see Jeff holding a knife and a squirming green iguana tail while giggling*  
  
M- Jeff, what the hell is your problem?  
  
J- *still giggling* I just wanted to see if it would keep moving. Hehehe! It did!  
  
I- Damnit, that hurts, you bastard!  
  
K- Jeff, lemme see it! *takes the tail from Jeff and starts to giggle like a schoolgirl* This is so cool! *They both double over in laughter*  
  
E- Matty, save me from the evil little green thing that talks!  
  
M- Don't worry, Edge, he won't hurt you.  
  
C- *looks strangely at Edge and Matt. Edge's arms and legs are wrapped tightly around Matt, who is staring at him.* Um…Guys?  
  
M&E- What? Huh? Oh…  
  
C- Major weirdness.  
  
E- *still clinging to Matt* No kidding.  
  
*There is a knock at the door*  
  
E- Oh, I'll get it! *leaps out of Matt's arms and skips over to the door, almost stepping on the iguana.*  
  
I- Grrrr……  
  
E- Hello?  
  
Salesman- Hi, I'm here today to offer you some products.  
  
E- Since when do hotels have door-to-door salesmen?  
  
SM- Since I found out who was staying here.  
  
E- Huh?  
  
MS- Anyways, I'm here to try and sell you our wonderful hair dyes.  
  
J- *screeching* HAIR DYE? *flies to the door* Hair dye? I love hair dye!  
  
SM- *evil smile* Well, now, I guess you do. But that purple hair of yours is in bad need of a touch-up. What colors would you like?  
  
J- Um…blue! And green. Oh, and purple and red! Do you have orange? I want orange, too. Oh my god! You have that awesome color of teal that I love! I'll take five of those!… *After purchasing 20 boxes of hair dye, he shuts the door*  
  
M- What a waste of money.  
  
J- Here's your wallet back, Matty.  
  
M- *lunges at Jeff*  
  
C- *stops Matt* Don't hurt him, Matt. Please? We don't want to see Jeff's blood.  
  
I- Yes, we do!  
  
E- What the hell are you still doing here? *pulls out bow and arrow and shoots the iguana*  
  
C- Dude, why do you have a bow?  
  
E- *gets all red* Um……Uh……  
  
M- Oh my god! Val was killed by an arrow!  
  
E- It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't!  
  
M- Oh. Okay!  
  
E- *turns around and grins like a maniac. He picks up the iguana, pulls out a lighter, set's the iguana's body on fire and throws the flaming carcass out the window*  
  
K- *giggles*  
  
E- *does the same thing with the bow*  
  
J- Matty, I'm scared of Edge…  
  
M- Don't worry, Jeffy. He's harmless. I think…  
  
*Knock at the door*  
  
C- *opens the door* Hello?  
  
Author (Vicki)- Hey, guys, this story really needs to end. *stops and stares at Christian* Damn, you are really hott…  
  
C- Yeah, I know. And I speak European.  
  
A- *swoons*  
  
C- *catches Vicki and carries her away to where they live happily ever after with their full time maid, Kurt, and their charming, multi-colored, poetry-writing pet, Jeff* 


End file.
